This is a stick up. Darlings. And we have donuts…or are they doughnuts? From Doughnut Time.
One of the things I immediately missed in lockdown was being able to send my servant to the Doughnut Time store in Notting Hill and send me back photographs of doughnuts that I could dream of eating. And very occasionally, whenever I was thin enough, I’d allow myself to buy one and have prosecco-snorting parties where I’d spend all evening slowly licking the doughnut. Well, I couldn’t go to Mahiki every night. Darlings.
But there is a tricky question here, donuts or doughnuts?
We can probably blame Mr Dunkin for the use of donuts, and from a phonetic perspective perhaps it makes sense, but I’m going for doughnuts because it sounds more posher. Darlings.
One cannot help when thinking of doughnuts to think of America, the home of the great socialist, Bernie Sanders – yes luxury communism is coming for the USA in due course. Everyone will be rich, and as rich as each other – just imagine if the whole of America was worth a billion dollars. MEGA.
Though perhaps you might prefer to be worth a billion doughnuts.
I just wanted one. Except it being a blog about meal kits I have to order them in boxes of 4 – thankfully this time I had a social occasion to attend at the home of one of my friends, who is a high-powered IT executive. Princess doesn’t befriend just any old person.
And what better gift than a box of doughnuts that you have to prepare? Maybe except a large bag of Peruvian cocaine.
It was no more easy to choose between which Doughnut Time DIY kit than it would be to choose between my favourite modern day socialist hero.
Caramel makes me want to vomit even more than the right-wing takeover of the Labour Party by Kier Starmer, the limited edition wasn’t available at the time, nor I think the Sando kit – whatever one of them was.
Given that it was a party (of less than 6 people) I decided upon the Party Sprinkle DIY Kit. As tempting as the cookies and cream kit was too. Price including delivery came to £21.90.
The gathering was on a Saturday, so I ordered them on a Tuesday thinking that they’d take up to 3 days to arrive, as per the website. They arrived the next day. Which is still up to 3 days.
The doughnuts themselves were ridiculously soft and fresh when they arrived, and thankfully had barely aged by time Saturday arrived – I kept them in the fridge for want of a more suitable arrangement – this was peak heatwave week.
Instructions were pretty simple. Glaze. Wait. Decorate. There you go, Doughnut Time – you have a perfect marketing slogan for your DIY kit. Maybe if Daddy is wrongfully arrested because of the tabloid witch hunt I could become a marketing executive? Pretty sure I’d be in demand and be able to get at least £100k a year. Wouldn’t I?
My artist/IT executive friend did the decorating – as you can see he is nearly as talented as I am at marketing slogans. Though I should add, no cocaine was sprinkled on the doughnuts.
Most of the meal kits that I’ve had have at least faithfully replicated what you’d get at the restaurant…or premises in the case of Doughnut Time. But I think Doughnut Time most faithfully replicated the store experience – perhaps because there was less possibility of me fucking it up, say by pouring rosemary salt on a burger. Hmmm.
The doughnut was so soft and fluffy, despite having been delivered 3 days prior. Yes it was a sugar overload so possibly don’t have all 4 yourself.
Value for money: 6/10
Ease of cooking/preparation: 9/10
Quality Of Ingredients: 9/10
Which gives Doughnut Time’s DIY kit an overall score of 80%. Is that my highest rated kit so far? I haven’t got a list yet, but I think so.
These doughnuts were lush – and if you have never had Doughnut Time doughnuts before, sort your life out.
I have one more meal kit to write about which I will soon. Had a break recently from ordering them as I’m now braving restaurants again and spent too much time drinking and doing coke in the bathroom toilets at Mahiki, but I’ll get my pert Princess backside back into gear soon.
Especially as this bastard Tory government looks like they are bringing another lockdown…though very slowly…and you’ll need my reviews by then!